Christmas Madness
by Flying Monkey Girl
Summary: Garcia plans a Christmas party for her friends but they're reluctant, and for good reason. First Criminal Minds Fanfic. Characters are a little OOC sometimes


Garcia smiled as she hit print. Her team was returning from a case and she had a surprise in store for them. It was going to be her little amusement before holidays started, she had tried many times before but they always found something better to do. Not this time, this time she made sure that they would have no escape.

She gathered her papers and waited for the team to walk through the BAU doors. She leaned comfortably against a desk arms folded cautiously around the small stack of paper she had.

It had only been a few minutes before the team walked in. She smiled and walked up to greet them they smiled and returned her greeting. She knew their smiles wouldn't last long when she handed them the little folded pieces of paper. She followed them as they sat in their desks, she targeted Derek first. She barely said anything as she slipped the piece of paper on to his desk, ignoring his quizzical look as she moved on to Spencer. Slowly she made it to Emily's desk and Jennifer's. Leaving those four in a state of confusion she moved on to the upper offices where she would find Aaron and David sitting in the same office talking over trivial things as their team leader prepared for the mountain of paper work he would have to do.

She smiled pleasantly at the two knowing that Aaron hated her appearance after every case; she was the one who generally printed off and delivered his paper work. It was better than the alternative. Strauss.

"Sorry Sir," She said and left the small card on top of the pile for him. She then turned to David, "And this is for you"

She walked away not bothering to hide the smile as she left the office, it only grew as she saw the others reading the invitations she had given them. She smiled and walked back into her own little room and waited for the bombardments of excuses that would come from her co-workers. She sat at her desk laptop on lap counting the seconds until they barged through her door simultaneously and began to give her excuses. She couldn't understand why, they'd never been to one of her parties before and those who had never been fond of talking with the FBI.

It didn't take long for the team to come through the door, although they did hesitate when they saw her waiting for them.

"Listen sweetheart, I would love to come but, huh, my sisters and I are getting together for a little holiday spirit," Derek began, smiling in the most charming way possible hoping that it was enough to get him out of whatever their lovely little Techy had in mind. They all new very well that she could be sadistic, not in the same way as the killers they caught, obviously, but there was something there that led him to believe she would use them for some amusement. Taking courage from Morgan the others joined in their excuses.

"Visiting my mother" Reid put in after and Garcia smiled at him.

"I'll be out of town." Garcia's attention turned to Prentiss now.

"William and I are going out" JJ was now pinned with Garcia's stare, although they believed it to be of disappointment.

"Sorry Garcia, I have a date set for that night," Rossi said smiling in a close attempt at Derek's smile.

"And I'll be spending some time with Jack. Hayley is going out of town for a bit and Jessica is bringing him over" Aaron said completing the round of excuses Garcia had been expecting them. They tended to stay the same each time, so Garcia did a little research of her own to _ensure _they had no other plans before setting the date. The only thing that would stop her plan was if a case happened, and she sincerely hoped it didn't.

She smiled at the team assembled in front of her, knowing very well she'd win in the end. For once her lovely team of profilers missed the subtle difference in her smile. Instead of a sweet understanding smile that meant she accepted their excuses, it was a more like a hunter's smile when it knew it had its pray cornered. In the back of her mind Garcia worried about the parallel she had just made, but pushed it aside in anticipation of the looks she was about to receive.

"Morgan," she said sweetly, "sugar, as far as I was aware you sister's haven't made any contact with you to set up a meeting, so I will be expecting you." Garcia turned from him the moment a slightly stunned look passed over his face, "Reid, my dear, you never see your mother around this time not until it's closer to Christmas. Prentiss, your excuse is more believable but seeing as no transactions have been made concerning traveling I doubt you'll be leaving. JJ, I already had a talk with William and he assured me that on that day you had nothing planned. Rossi you don't have a date because you are trying too hard to make me think that you do." She had gradually gotten louder as she shot down almost everyone's excuses. Prentiss always left a paper trail and from spending so much time with these profilers she picked up a thing or too, such as Reid's routines concerning his mother and the way Rossi behaved when he had a date. There was only one member left, "Hotch, yes Hayley is going out of town and yes Jack is staying with Jessica but I know that Jack isn't staying with you until the week of Christmas. So you'll be free."

A stunned silence fell over the room as they all stared at the clever little blond in front of them. A small beep from one of the many computers in the room brought at least one member out of his shock, "Uh, it's the Garcia effect." With that he dashed out of the room.

The others in the room couldn't help but laugh at the small amount of humor Hotch had shown again before fleeing for safety, which had been a good idea. They had all planned to take his lead, and as the laughter subsided quickly they dashed from the room. They had lost and now they were doomed, thus far they had escaped Garcia but now it seemed they'd have to deal with her wrath full on.

"Night Morgan, see ya in the morning" Prentiss said over her shoulder as she walked toward her car.

After their failed attempt at brushing off the party politely they had buried themselves in their work hoping to avoid Garcia. After finishing their work in record time they headed home hoping what Garcia had in store wasn't as bad as they were thinking. Truth be told they didn't know how they came to the assumption that it might be horrible but there was something in her eyes that made them avoid these gatherings like the plague.

In the morning Garcia had arrived at work early bringing with her the coffee she knew her co-workers would be in desperate need of. She smiled as she watched the team slowly walk into the room, the changes in time while flying was killer on the body even when they were used to it. Not to mention none of them got much sleep while trying to catch an UNSUB. Garcia handed a cup off to them whenever one walked through the door, she had another reason besides being a considerate and kind person.

She looked around the den like room where there were squads of desks together piled with papers, people walked around attending to their work. There were six or seven actual offices in the room, one of them belonging to Hotch and another to Rossi. The clusters of desks were lower than the offices separated by a small rise in the floor. Ramps instead of stairs allowed easy movement between the sections. There was much more to the floor then this once small room, corridors to the east and west revealed more offices along with leading to one of the biggest rooms in the building. There the agents were briefed on new cases.

Garcia smiled before walking into the small room that she worked in most of the time, she rarely traveled with the team because a lot of the time she was needed by some of the other teams that worked in the building. The sight of her many computers was almost a home away from home, she had spent more time here than anywhere else in her life, shaking her head she continued into the room to grab the little hat on her desk smiling slightly as she walked back out into the room and over to her team. Her team, as in the team she worked with the most, the people she was closest with.

They had been talking in whispers before she approached and she noticed how they all unconsciously straightened, meaning that they had probably just been discussing the horrible torchers she was bound to force upon them. She smiled; she had never been one to disappoint people. She held out the small hat, knowing very well what she meant by the gesture. What they didn't know was what the little folded papers contained inside.

After looking at her for a moment as if unsure what to do one by one they opened the paper and glanced back up even more confused than before. Garcia smiled at this, she was having a lot of fun already and she wasn't done yet.

"They're-"Garcia smiled as if thinking of a word to best describe what she had in mind, "dress requirements. You'll be dressed in whatever those little slips of paper say if you attending the party, which all of you are"

With that she turned around her words had left little room for argument, and even if someone had their arguments would be shot down easily by the woman. The group sighed as they watched her leave; their minds had nothing else to focus on at the moment other than the little slips of paper.

There had been one slip of paper left; Garcia was no exception to her party rules. The only difference between her and the others is that she would gladly do this as a price for the amusement she got from watching them forced into a situation they weren't used to. Her party was exactly that; she had tried getting them to come before hand, justifying it as them needing to expect the unexpected and deal with awkward situations.

In three days everything was prepared, the food, drinks, and decorations. She had asked Strauss' supervisor permission to use the office for her little party. Enjoying parties immensely he agreed

Garcia smiled as Kevin walked through the door. He had readily agreed to help her with her party being to many himself, mostly as a victim.

"Everything set?" he asked quietly and Garcia nodded her head as an answer. Then looked over what he was wearing, she couldn't help but laugh at what he was wearing. A short red dress with white trimming and a Santa hat, he made a good Mrs. Clause. His cross dressing gave her ideas for a later time, at a later place and for a much cruller mood. She laughed slightly. Her dress was black with a gray design that looked like icicles, a wand that had a halo of icicles as did her crown, and finally her hair was white looking like it was frost covered. The ice Queen.

The first to enter was Morgan. The only reason why Garcia new it was him was the fact that his head stuck out of a fury body, which was a mixture of black, gray and white. His mask rested on his left hip in his left hand. Morgan was the Sasquatch which made Garcia laugh.

Following him was Santa who walked uncomfortably, the body being a little weird to walk in. "Ho, Ho, Ho- did you know that there are two North Poles? The North Terrestial Pole and, uh, the North Magnetic Pole." There was no mistaking Reid's voice despite the way the beard muffled it. At that time the pillows decided to slide down taking Reid's Santa's pants with him. He struggled to pick them back up as the three other occupants were laughing.

"I didn't know this was going to be stripping," Prentiss said coming out from behind Reid. The sound of her high heels was muffled by the carpet. Her shoes were such a pale pink it looked almost white, and her fishnet tights were almost the same color. The dress she was wearing looked like white fur, her gloves were pink leather and the nub on her tale looked like cotton. The floppy ears on the top of her head confirmed it; the Easter bunny had joined the Christmas party.

"I hope not," said a familiar stoic voice from behind both the Easter bunny and Santa, both turned and reviled a figure in green fur. The Grinch ushered both Santa and the Easter bunny into the room.

The next to enter was JJ, the jingling of bells announcing her presence before she stepped through the door. She wore green shoes that were trimmed with red, a green dress that was trimmed in the same manner, and a green and red had with a little bell on the end. "Hey" she greeted and quickly joined the others.

Dressed in all brown with hoof looking hands and feet, a red nose, and some horns, the most famous reindeer of all had arrived. Rossi the red nosed Reindeer. He quickly glared at the occupants of the room as they laughed.

Garcia stood laughing as she looked around the room at her friends. "Now that we're all here, we can begin with some games. The first is pin the tail on Rudolf, but I misplaced my Rudolf poster so. . . "

Kevin piped in as Garcia trailed off, "let's play pin the tail on Rossi." His suggestion was met with cheers and applause except for the Reindeer who's ass was about to become the target of a game, he- well he just glared.

"Sounds like we're in an agreement, sorry deer," Garcia said winking at Rossi as she picked up the blind fold and tails from the table. She turned back to her group of friends and smiled. "Who's first?" she asked turning to look at Reid standing awkwardly next to his wife.

"I'd like to see Reid try," Morgan said a slight smirk gracing his lips as he rested a hip on a table. They couldn't see said smirk do to the mask of fur he was wearing, but it was still evident in his voice.

Garcia smiled and complied with Morgan's request knowing that he would be tortured in time. She turned to Reid and offered him the cloth tails; he in turn looked from her to the fake limbs trying to decide what he should do. "Reid, you can either pin Rossi or kiss you misses"

Reid didn't think twice before taking the tails and looking at Rossi apologetically. The older agent glared before running off, he finally noticed that Reid wasn't going to sacrifice his dignity for Rossi's. Without hesitating Reid followed him as fast as possible.

With Reid hot on his trail Rossi ducked into a room without thinking, it was the conference room. The others raced into the room and watched as Reid and Rossi faced off across the table. Both of the males stood in similar stances only certain indicators showed who was chasing and who was being chased. The way Reid's eyes shifted over the room landing constantly on Rossi, who was looking around the room in subtle desperation. Unfortunately for the Reindeer the rest of the team blocked his only exit; it was when Reid noticed this that he made his move.

Dashing around the table Reid ended up where Rossi had been standing, and the other agent was where he had previously been. Reid once again tried the same technique, with the same results. Finally learning his lesson Reid glared mincingly at the other male, he took a step in one direction and Rossi went the other. Reid stopped and so did Rossi; Reid continued to play stepping one way then another watching the other male's reactions.

Rossi was observing Reid at the same time, watching how the younger male tested things out, trying to find some way to get to him. It was unfortunate that he couldn't read the young man's mind relying on his skills and talents as a profiler, but it wasn't everyday he faced this kind of situation. In fact he never had to face this situation.

Reid noticed how the other man was distracted and made his move. He lunged and rolled across the large round table tackling the other agent. Sitting on the man's back he triumphantly sticking the brown cloth tale on to Rossi's back side.

Both men stood Reid grinning and the other looking as dejected as Eeyore when his house was, once again, destroyed by something.

"Well that was interesting, wouldn't you say?" Garcia asked and walked out of the room heading towards the food and drinks. The others followed choosing to ignore the fuming Rossi.

Once everyone had some drinks and something to eat Garcia turned and addressed them, "So I believe, my dears, that it's time for another game. I have a list of games here and the winner of our last one can pick. So here you go Reid," Garcia handed Reid a sheet of paper and he looked over it, finally choosing one.

"Bobbing for sugar plumbs. A competition between two people, which Rossi can pick if he wishes," Garcia said and Rossi glared at the floor thinking.

"Morgan and Hotch." He stated calmly glaring at the fuzzy men.

"You're fired." Hotch said muffled by his mask, and so everyone ignored what he said.

Garcia led them over to the bucket of water and sugar plums. The two males started to take off their masks but Garcia stopped them.

"Babe, you got to be joking," Morgan moaned, and his head sagged in despair as Garcia simply looked at him.

Morgan was first managing to get none of the sugar plumbs within the time limit, on the bright side neither did Hotch. With that the second round began, Morgan ducked his head into the bucket and skillfully maneuvered a plum until it could be taken out. He managed to grab two before the time limit passed. Hotch followed his example and tried the same thing, he only managed to grab one before the time limit came up.

Finally the last round passed Morgan with 6 and Hotch with three. Both left with completely soaked masks. Garcia walked up to Morgan and smiled. "Which game?" Morgan glanced briefly at the sheet before making a selection. "Seven minutes in heaven," Garcia announced with an evil gleam in her eye.

She pulled out a black hat with small strips of paper in it. "Each one of these pieces contain a name of a person in the room. The picker will pick a name and the chosen name and chooser will go into one of the offices for seven minutes in heaven." Garcia explained the game briefly and turned to Morgan, who pointed at Kevin to pick first.

Garcia smiled and walked over to him. She held out the hat and he reached his hand in and pulled out a piece of paper. He glanced at it and looked up at Garcia, "Can I pick another one?"

Garcia shook her head 'no' and pulled the piece of paper from his hand, "Kevin and. . ." Garcia unfolded the piece of paper and started laughing, "Or should I say Mr. and Mrs. Clause"

"WHAT!" Reid demanded loudly jumping to his feet in a fluid moment. Garcia turned toward him and smiled. She motioned to her work space and pulled out a watch; both of the males reluctantly walked into the room and shut the door. Garcia started the timer.

Seven minutes later the two emerged from the room and sat at separate ends of the room, making the other occupants of the room laugh, chuckle, or smirk.

Morgan picked next and Reid groaned as his name was pulled again. The others laugh, once those two emerged and Reid again attempted to avoid his closet buddy.

One after the other Reid was picked repeatedly, having to join many of his friends in Garcia's computer room. Finally he had enough "Okay now we're done!"

"Aww, common Reid honey," Morgan said winking at the other male, "One more round"

Reid glared but sat back down, he continued to glare as he watched Garcia walk over to Prentiss, who smiled and picked a piece of paper out of the hat.

"Kevin," Garcia announced and watched as the two walked into the room, "Looks like Mrs. Clause ran off with the Easter bunny again"

Seven minutes later and the two came out of the closet and joined the others Garcia smiled and she turned to JJ to pick another game. Glancing briefly at the sheet she picked a game, there were two left and she thought it best to pick the less dramatic one.

"Next is SORRY. We'll play in pairs. Mr. and Mrs. Cause, the Reindeer and the elf, the Easter bunny and the Grinch, and then the sasquatch and myself."

The game began and it wasn't long before the bunny team was losing, which caused loud exclamations from said bunny. At first the others ignored it, but it progressed into violence. She frequently punched he partner and threw her shoes at Reid whenever he passed her.

"Can we stop now?" Hotch finally asked thankful for the extra padding his costume gave him. Garcia nodded and stood, grabbing some alcohol from under the table.

"I think we should take a break before we continue with our last game," Garcia said and handed out drinks to her guests.

"You just want to prolong this night," Morgan said knowing the blonde women very well, she as an answer winked at him and continued to serve the others drinks.

She studied her companions carefully before deciding whether or not to announce the next game, they seemed more relaxed now. "It is time," she announced trying to make it seem more special than it really was, "For Truth and Dare!"

They quickly formed a circle and looked at their host patiently; she sat down slowly and looked around the circle. "Reid. Truth or dare?

"Truth,"

"How do you feel about your wife running off with the Easter bunny?" Garcia asked and Reid glared and shook his head.

The game progressed like that the dares getting more complicated and embarrassing as were the truths revealed.

"You know, JJ hasn't been picked in a while," Morgan pointed out, and Reid took advantage of this thinking of the most embarrassing thing that he could have JJ do, or reveal.

"JJ," Reid said and looked toward her, and she sighed.

Thinking that Reid wouldn't do much she replied, "Dare"

"I dare you," Reid paused thinking again, "To stick a photocopy of your-um- breasts to Strauss' door."

Everyone stared at Reid for a few minutes before ushering JJ towards the copying room. Once in the room the averted their eyes as JJ lifted her shirt and pressed herself against the cold machine and pressed a button.

Once it was done they raced to Strauss' door to pin the picture up. They laughed at their behaviors not truly realizing that they were acting no better than immature teenagers.

They sat down once again picking up their forgotten drinks before looking up at Garcia who was bringing in some boxes. Curious they stood and helped her unpack, what they saw made them gasp in happiness. They had already said goodbye to their dignity so they embraced her surprise with childish glee. In the boxes were massive amounts of Lego.

They helped her unpack quickly and sat down and began to play with the toys. They never noticed someone else walk into the office and look around the room with a mix of confusion and awkward horror. Agent Strauss had walked in about to demand to know who was in the room, and why they were there. When she saw one of her teams drunk and playing with Lego she was shocked beyond measure.

She opened her mouth to speak, only to close it again when nothing came out, she tried it three more times before she decided it was best to just walk away and pretend that she had seen nothing. She didn't even notice her nice little present on her office door. That was a present for tomorrow.


End file.
